week 5

Week 5

This is my 5^th school week, although the weather is getting better and there is no more thunder storms, everything seems to be really nice. But I just have the bad mood all the time and I even start feel tired sometimes, I just feel like I don’t have enough energy to do all the stuff . I want to play soccer every day, but I have tons of homework are waiting for me and I gotta prepare for the test to make sure get a good grade on them.

Anyway, sometime I just want to leave myself alone to get rid of the noises to be myself and think about what I‘ve done during these times. Sometimes, I feel tired of everything and I just want to sitting on the bench like an old man looking around and wonder how is my life so far. I am not dissatisfy about my life, I just want to take a rest and think about what should I do and what do I want. As long as I find out something which is or will belong to me, I will go for it and I will ignore other things. As the songs said, I just wanna run’ hide it away, run before they chasing me down and ignore the whole world, live in a lonely island.

To Ponyboy

Dear Ponyboy,

I heard about that you dismissed the Soc's problems as being confined to " good grades, good cars, good girls, madras, Mustang and Corvairs." I know maybe you are jealous about our life because of your current situation is pathetic and poor that you lost your parents and only can live in a poor environment with your two brothers.  But, let me tell you something, our life is not even easy than yours. Do you really think that we have all these luxurious stuffs or expensive cars and we should be happy and satisfied? No we don't, although we have these but we all lost our soul that sometimes we can't truly feel the world, we lost a kind of feeling that you have. We don't exactly know what we should do, we just do the things that parents want us to do and pretend to be really enjoy it, we don't know what we exactly want and what 's our dream. We've lost a kind of love that your brothers give you. If our life are aimless with no goal and have nothing to pursue, then what is the meaning to live in this world. We can't feel the world because our vision have covered up  by the evil humanities and what we can see is just darkness.

I hope you can understand us

Sincerely yours,

Calvin Chen